Dear Mom & Dad,

it's time for your little one to go to school! You will probably be anxious and perhaps tearful at the thought of your child away from you, but...

Manage your own separation anxiety

It is not only children who experience separation anxiety when they leave home for the first time to start school, but also parents. Here's what you can do:

1. Create your personal separation process

Find your own way to say "goodbye" for example, a kiss, a hug, a funny face, a complex handshake, something that is unique between you and the child. Don't linger after that, it's the signal that you're leaving and you'll see it in the commentary.

2. Don't be ashamed of how you feel

It's perfectly normal to wonder what your child's first day at school will be like. You may feel a little nervous, a little anxious, a little worried about how your child will do... Don't worry, these are normal feelings.

3. Do not cry in front of the child

Children perceive situations and emotional tone by how their parents feel and what they show. So, if you are crying while telling your child "You will have a good time", you are not very convincing... At the time of saying goodbye, show joy, optimism, faith in your child's strengths and convey that school will be a wonderful experience.

4. Remember that it is normal for the child to worry a little

Remind your child that "You may be a little scared at first, but most people feel a little strange when they start something new. But every day that goes by you will find something nice about school and you will like it more and more." Don't be tempted to say "Don't be afraid!" or "Look at your big brother." Instead, be understanding of the child's fear and offer encouragement. Explain to the child that you are going to work or have errands to run and will meet them at the end of the school day. Do not say that you will wait for him outside the classroom or in the yard, because instead of helping him, you are increasing his anxiety. Convey confidence with your attitude and show him that you believe in his strengths. Emphasize what he has accomplished so far, for example, riding his tricycle, eating on his own, etc.

5. Trust the school

Remember that you chose this school for certain elements and qualities that you saw in it, so trust our practices regarding separation and work with us so that our pedagogical practices and experience can help you and your child in their adjustment.

6. Meet the teacher in advance, visit the school with the child

The familiarity that comes with getting to know the teacher and the school before classes start helps to calm both your and your child's anxiety.

7. Get ready for the first day of school in the evening, get enough sleep and wake up early

This way you will be organised, calm and relaxed to face the first day of school and the possible difficulty of separating your child. If you are well you will create a nice and calm atmosphere for the whole family.

8. If your child continues to have difficulty adjusting, intervene in time

Talk to the teacher first. Afterwards it may help to give the child a transitional object, for example, a photo of you, a stuffed animal to keep him/her company at school, a note with a little heart, etc.

Here are some activities that will help your child understand the transition to school as a new, beautiful phase of life, with lots of pleasant surprises and rewards!

• Share the joy of starting school with your child. Let him know that he has "grown up" and that he is in control of things. Do the school supply shopping together and let the child choose to his or her taste (even if you disagree!).

• Boost the child's self-confidence with books. Read books together about the first day of school or other adventures. Talk about how brave the character in the book is, the difficulties he or she overcame and what he or she did to make it through. In this way, you help your child identify his or her own anxieties, to realize that others go through similar hardships but make it through. You are also helping him to find ways to cope with the things that stress him out.
• Use dolls, animals, puppets and play with the child how these toys go to school. Get the "actors" to be anxious and "play" different ways to manage the situation. For example, Lion is wondering if he will make friends at school - you can play variations of asking other animals "Do you want to build a castle with blocks together?" or smile or tell his teacher, etc.
• Role-play with your child about how we say our name, how we get to know other children, how we ask the teacher for something, etc. Dramatic play is very important for young children as it offers them the opportunity to accept change and rehearse their new roles.
• Before starting kindergarten, do a general rehearsal with the child. Discuss how he will go to school, who will be there to help him find his classroom, how he will greet his teacher, how long school lasts, roughly what happens during class and recess, how he will get home and who will be there to greet him. Reassure the child that the teacher will be there to help him and answer all his questions.

Stamataki Vasia,

Psychologist, MSc